Monday, May 24, 2010

Do you think this survey is right that more younger women believe in spanking than did the older generation?

I have been saying for a while that I thought there was a trend among younger mothers back toward spanking. Today I ran into an actual survey with the same result. Even though that was my impression--I was surprised by how high the numbers were. The concusion was:





"In 2004, 79 percent of 18 to 24 year old females agreed that a child sometimes needs a "good hard spanking" compared with 61 percent of 45 to 65 year old females" You can find it at: http://www.childtrendsdatabank.org/indic...





My Mom is one of the 61 percenters, though to people she always seemed liked a very liberal, cool Mom (and she was) but she also believed in an occassional "good hard spanking":http://girlinshortshorts.blogs...





Anyway, do you think these statistics are correct. I do. I think younger parents are just getting sick and tired of spoiled bratty kids and the Supernanny nonsense.

Do you think this survey is right that more younger women believe in spanking than did the older generation?
I think you hit the nail right on the head. Many of the younger generation that are old enough to have children now are the ones who were raised with "time-outs" and no spanking. They learned from their own experiences what worked and what didn't and are seeing the result all around them in their own peer groups (myself included).





People are slowly starting to see that the whole anti-spanking ordeal is NOT working because, with anti-spanking being so prevalent today, there is more violence among juveniles than there was before (during the previous generations that DID spank).





Spanking equals one or 2 incidents with a dude sitting in a clock tower with a rifle.





No spanking equals school shootings on the daily news.





When used correctly spanking is a necessary form of discipline that DOES need to be brought back and possibly TAUGHT to parents, ways to utilize it correctly.





Oh and to the poster above me about spanking "lowers the IQ" that is from the Gershoff study from 30 years ago and it outdated and antiquated. Read up on the more recent studies by Baumrind. There is absolutely NO PROOF that spanking lowers the IQ of a child, however, there is proof that children who are raised with only verbal punisment or only time-outs are more emotionally and mentally disturbed than those who are spanked moderately and properly.
Reply:I have only one thought to share:


"Billy! DON'T HIT YOUR BROTHER!!!"


"SMACK!"


Does that REALLY make ANY kind of sense?
Reply:As A woman in my 40's I can tell you that spanking has never and will never go away.


There are times when a swat is called for.
Reply:I believe that there are alternative ways to disapline a child but there is also a limit to it as well. I believe spanking should be reserved for severe misbehavior that you haven't been able to correct using the 'super-nanny' methods. I don't think spanking has as much of an emotional impact as people believe, doing it to the point of abuse or as an only alternative might but reserving it for severe misbehavior I think is fine. You just don't want to send the message that violence is the only way to solve problems.





I do believe if people tried hard enough they could do it strictly without spanking but most people don't have the time or patience. I am in the younger group and I spank my child when she does something wrong, I always warn her after she does it once though that if she does it again she will get a spanking.





I have noticed though, I sometimes spank my child as a kind of game. I don't know what you would call it, I just spank her playfully sometimes to show affection. When I do that I spank about as hard as I do when I am punishing her but she smiles and laughs, however when I spank her for doing something bad she cries like crazy and clings to my leg until I will forgive her(pick her up/comfort her in some way, so she knows I forgive her.) So I really think it's all in the atittude you do it in. I think people have such bad images of spanking because when they think of it they think of brutal beatings or something.





I guess it all depends on your parenting skills and what you believe is right. I would be interested in knowing if our steady moral decline in the past years in due to all this 'super-nanny' atittude. Like my sister was going out with a 21 year old guy when she was 16 and nobody in my family except me thought there was something wrong with that. When I talked to them about it they were like she's 16 we can't do anything about it anymore. I was dumbfounded, I told them if she was my daughter I would be doing something about it until they were 18 and ready to move out. Parents are just letting their kids do whatever they want now days because they don't feel like they have the power or authority to stop it anymore. Or that if they do try to stop it they will have to deal with repercussions because the children think they are full grown at 14. Kids need a reality check and they need to stop growing up so fast, I blame a lot of it on morality in general taking a dive as well though, I mean I see some 10 year old girls dressed up like hookers and I see baby bakinis I would think a playboy model would wear. Why do people have to buy their infants clothes that tattoo them as sexy? I think it's disgusting.





Anyway, back to the spanking subject, yes, I do believe children sometimes need a good hard spanking to make them realize that all their actions won't be met with just a 'slap on the hand' and that they have to take responsibility for what they do and the more severe the action they take in the more severe the penalty will be if that action is negative.





It is also the same though with giving false praise, but that is another topic all together.
Reply:That does surprise me, but obviously when super-nanny doesn't work, something must be done.
Reply:Yes, I agree younger parents are spanking more today. It seems like a big cycle going round and round. Maybe the majority of the population is feeling today's liberal, government involved society has gotten out of hand, and not it's time to revert back to what works, good old fashioned family values. For us that does include an occasional "good HARD spanking"





I know a set of parents who never spanked their children before, they asked us how we raised our girls, and decided to give spanking a try. All I got to say is, now that their children are in line, they are much happier and healthier as a family. Spanking does work, but like anything else, parents need to believe in what they are doing.








Nice Find!
Reply:I totally agree with you. Im the younger generation, and I totally believe kids need spankings! If not they will turn out to be spoiled brats with little displine.





I also agree that the old generation didnt care for spanking as much, my mother never spanked me. My grandmother, now thats a different story...
Reply:I'm 26 and believe in spanking, but I do not agree with doing it with my hand. I use a switch (rod as used on proverbs) that is about 12 inches long and as think as a spag noodle. I had said that in a comment once and I was told that I didnt deserve to have kids and was a bad mother even though I've never had to yell at my kids or switch them in ange.
Reply:Hmmm...I didn't think so. I don't think the Supernanny is nonsense. I've been putting my son on his "naughty spot" since he was a year old and now all we have to do is start counting to get him to stop. Why wouldn't you want to learn other ways of disciplining a child, the way the Supernanny does, if possible? I don't have a problem with spanking and I was spanked, but why spank when you can do it another way? Supernanny developed those techniques because, as the nanny, she didn't think it was her place to hit another's child. I think we should spank rarely so that they don't become too used to it.
Reply:It surprises me a bit, but let me just say I am very encouraged by the results of the survey. Let's just hope none of these young ladies catch me misbehaving in public.
Reply:Whenever our slow-ones misbehave we put their helmets on and go to town. It doesn't take a lot of force, but we're pleased with the results. The approach requires (first) sloppy behavior. Sometimes we have the neighbors over for a red, hot totty, and usually the kids enjoy the show. Too much! Children need to learn a bit more respect, because adults have endured much (or, have earned better). Work is a j@ckass, they need to be right, and whenever we go to town I put their helmet(s) on.
Reply:I don't know that many younger moms, I am 45 and have 4 children ranging in age from 8 to 16. I have reserved spanking as a method of discipline for the right here, right now misbehaviors- running in the street, touching hot or sharp objects- but time out, grounding or removing a favorite toy or activity for a period of time usually works for other things.I count to 3 and they better get moving or one of the above is implemented!
Reply:I'm thinking the majority of the 45-65 age group probably have kids in their mid-late teens or are already grown, it would have been interesting to poll those same women when they were 18-24, those are the mothers of kids who are still young enough to be spanked, I am 34 years old and my mother is of the 45-65 age group as are all the mothers of my friends when I was young, I didn't know a single kid growing up who didn't occasionally get a good spanking.
Reply:i am 43 my parents did the spanking thing which always led to getting out of hand, then guilt today people think u should talk or timeout, i fing none of this works, but whatever u choose, be consistent.
Reply:That Supernanny crap doesn't work! Kids need a good hard crack across the butt to put the fear in them!!!





edit: In response to the lady that says spanking lowers IQ's... How on Earth does spanking a child lower their I.Q.? It's not like you're smacking them in the brain... My 2 sisters and myself were spanked by our mother, practically beaten by our father, yet we all have high IQ's, and were Honors Students from grade school till college graduation.
Reply:I believe in both the suppernanny "crap" and spanking. I believe she does have some good idea of things to "try" before going right in to spanking a child but yes sometimes a good hard spanking is absolutely necessary.





I wasnt spanked as a child. I am not saying I am a "bad" person actually i believe I am a great person however there were time that I believed at the time i did it and to this day that i really didn;t get the punishment that was really nessary or deserved if i got one at all. I think an occasion spanking will I believe raise a kids self esteem a little. I am not saying beating the hell out of them I am saying a good spanking when called for. I think it will in a sense tell a kid that mom and dad will not tolerate some things and DO care about behavior and not just say they dont they PROVE it. I especially think its good occasionally in a house where both parents work or alot is going on. When parents arent around or alot os going on its harder to go through a grounding and the kid isn't gonna just obey it if they dont "have" to. Plus, its the fact the kid knows the parent is going out of their way to do something when they mess up verses just saying the words "you're grounded". That takes as much effort to say as I love you. You also can't just say "I love you" without some effort and proof for the kid to believe you. So to believe that you mean business they need to shown it as well more then jsut words.





I am 23 no kids yet but when i do i will spank. So i will be one of the 79% of moms.
Reply:Definitely we are sick and tired of spoiled kids! But I don't think this means that spanking is always the answer. My husband and I only use that as a very last resort when nothing else is getting through. But our 7 year old knows if she is extremely disrespectful or totally out of control, that it might get her that result. By the way, I think it's been over a year now since she's gotten a spanking!
Reply:I agree, because the younger generation happen to be the result of the older, and get to see first hand how that didn't work. Remember though, discipline does mean 'to teach', so use spanking as a last resort to really really bad behavior. However, if a child is about to touch a hot pan or something else that could cause serious injury, a good swat on the hands followed by the reason for it is absolutely necessary.
Reply:Becky, the supernanny show you are referring to is commercialized nonsense- it doesn't portray real life. It is used for dramatic effects.





You keep saying kids are brattier today. You don't even look at multiple factors at play such as parents who are working two or more jobs just to keep their heads above water. The real question is "Who is minding the children?"





Why would anyone want to give their children a good hard spanking? That's abuse. If I was that child I would want to hit my parents back. And I should have done it when it happened to me instead of growing up being bullied.





In answer to your question I don't think spanking or not spanking has anything to do with age. It has to do with family values, how you grew up, your own education about childhood development-which many parents I've read about on Yahoo are just plain clueless, and your own temperment. Spanking=physical aggression.
Reply:I agree with you. Watching Supernanny makes me sick. To me there is no acceptable excuse for allowing your kids to walk all over you. You lay down rules and apply structure for their benefit to equip them for the adult world. If those kids act that way in the adult world they'll never hold jobs nor will they be able to have good lives.





The way I remember life in the kids world the one who hit hardest was dominant. By parents taking spanking off the table they have removed their ability to dominate their kids in a way that can be plainly understood.





My opinion bluntly is that the Dog Whisperer (Caesar Milan) gives better parenting advice than Supernanny.
Reply:I don't necessarily agree with the statistics because, as it was a survey, it is all just a matter of opinion. Everyone has there own ways of disciplining just as every child is different and so every child will react to different means of discipline in a different way. Some children to respond to time-outs and learn from their misbehavings where as others do not and a swift swat on the bottom is okay and yes I do believe in spanking just as I do believe in time-outs. Honestly somedays I don't think either of them work, but teh best thing is consistancy and hopefully and eventually they will learn that actions have consequences.
Reply:No, I don't think they are true. I think that any survey that you take is going to be off. It all depends on WHO takes your survey. For all we know they could have gone back out the next day and had opposite results.





I think there is no such trend. People who spank were probably spanked. Their friends probably spank as well. It's just who you know I guess.





I know just as many younger mom's who choose not to discipline at all. Honestly, why do you even care what kind of discipline people use? If it works for them and their children then why even worry? Trust me; I've known many a bad child and there were some who were spanked and some who were not. It's all in HOW you discipline.
Reply:As I've always said to people - you can't blame the spoiled behavior of american kids on a lack of spanking because most americans spank (and most always have.)





Every family I know that uses spanking has kids who misbehave. If spanking worked, you wouldn't have to keep doing it.





I think younger parents aren't thinking things through and many are working and not even raising their own kids and knowing them well enough to teach them self-discipline.





Spanking is always a failure on the part of a parent. It displays ignorance, arrogance, and a complete lack of empathy. It is also lazy and stupid, as it teaches the child nothing.





In fact, spanking lowers the IQ, studies show. So, please, spare us the 'common sense' of stupid young moms and stupid old moms, too. What's wrong with kids today is day care, divorce, and other forms of parental selfishness.
Reply:If they're getting tired and sick of them then tbh they shouldnt of given birth in the first place? why would you want to hit someone you love? their is other ways to teach them a lesson you know. Spanking makes most children depressed anyway, all spanking does is make the child scared of the parent.


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